Energy healing for our world
Sanación energética para nuestro mundo

Relax and be who you are

Charlie Holles

Sunday, August 02, 2015

There is an old saying, possibly from Zen teaching: "Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are." The pressure of living according to ‘I should’ is remarkably strong in society, especially in the more developed countries. Even when that pressure does not come directly from parents and teachers, we can lay it on ourselves. Peer group pressure, the influence of television and envy of celebrities may cause us to feel that there are certain things we should do or achieve which are odds with what we would really like to do. Unfortunately those pressures become reinforced, particularly if the ambitions are towards status and wealth.

When I was in my teens I had an uncle by marriage who joined my very high achieving family. He was one of the last people to do national service and after completing that he spent some time lumber jacking in Canada. Then he joined my family. He was a lovely, jovial, intelligent and very laid back character. He came under quite a lot of pressure from several of the men in my family to ‘make something of himself’ when he didn’t have great ambitions. My father even secured him an interview for a sales job which everyone else, except for my uncle, thought he should go for. He attended the interview but turned it down to everyone’s dismay. After that he had a happy marriage, a house and a job as a foreman in a small factory when those around him considered he was wasting his life.

I was amazed when I attended his funeral. I could hardly believe how many people stood up to eulogise him for what he had done for them; how he had helped them (often financially); what he had done for young people; the list went on and on. Most of us were unaware of what he had been quietly doing all his life. I think that what he thought said and did resonated with his soul. He was a happy man, he didn’t succumb to ‘I should’ and he never seemed to suffer much tension.